$QUAD: The Great and Powerful/The Family/Issue One
’Get up!’’ A guard roared at Katie. “Alright, fuck off, what time is it? Where the fuck am I? Are you god or some shit?” ‘’Shut up and get into the cafeteria.’’ The guard said to her, standing at the cell door. “Can I go for a shit first?!” The guard stood and stared at Katie for a moment before walking off and says ‘’Be fast about it.’’ Katie walked into the bathroom, and sighed with relief as soon as she saw what was on the wall. A large white machine with Caitlin’s Colourful Condoms printed on it. She might be in prison, but she had access to the outside. Dis woz gon b gud. Katie remembers her battle with $QUAD. How she completely dominated some retarded feminist and she felt a lot stronger after he had died. But then she lost the pimp force and was sent to a hospital, then to this shithole of a prison. Knowing that the guard would be back soon, Katie made a split second decision. She grabbed some toilet paper, RAMMED A FINGER INSIDE HER VAG, and wrote a message in period blood. “Caitlin, if ya can read this, it’s ur bitch. I’m in prison. When you make the next delivery, send the one thing that can make me the queen bee here. The one thing that all women in prison want. Big black dildos.” ‘’Alright, you’ve had your time, come on out.’’ The guard says. ‘’Don’t make me come in there.’’ “Come in and I’ll make you eat me out until you look like you’ve had your head smashed into a basket of strawberries. That’s a metaphor for wait til I’m fucking ready you cunt, or this condom machine will never be full again.” ‘’wat’’ the guard says. ‘’Come out.’’ Katie comes out. She walks past the guard, clicks her fingers with sassyness, and wipes her finger on his arm. She enters the cafeteria, looking fab, and sits down next to an angry looking butch lesbian. “What’s your name fatty?” Katie asks. “Cam the fucking Woot. And fuck off, i’m sad” “Why are you sad?” “The guard called me a stupid dyke, but I’m not, I’m a BIG SMART DYKE.” ‘’’Which guard, Cam the fucking Woot?’’ Katie asks. “The one who looks like he’s a pervert. He’s a feminist, calls himself Rhina. He has a brother somewhere called Hippa, apparently. They’re both retarded I bet.’’ ‘’Hippo was, I can assure you dat. Along with the rest of the $QUAD.’’ Katie says while looking for Rhina. ‘’You know him?’’ Cam asks. ‘’I killed him.’’ ‘’o’’ “Do you wanna help me get revenge on the rest of Hippa’s friends, you BIG SMART DYKE?” “yeah, cos I’m a BIG SMART DYKE” ~*short melody plays* Cam the butch lesbian joined the team~ ‘’Wot just happened?’’ Cam asks. ‘’You joined the team.’’ Katie says. “Wat team?” “I’m gonna call us The Family, because we look after eachother, not like those $QUAD fags who are dicks to eachother. Do you have any idea for other friends?” “There’s the Boston slut called Purry and this burned chick in the kitchen called Lav” ‘’Can they do anything cool?’’ Katie asks. ‘’idk, wait wot is $QUAD?’’ “A fag gang that hates girls like us. They killed their only feminist, but he was just like them, so I’m glad he’s dead. We will crush $QUAD, and every one of their so called…” Katie spat into Cam’s food in disgust. “Niggas…” ‘’didnt u say earlier dat u killed deir feminist?’’ Cam questioned. “Yeah, because he was Hippa. African mammals are retarded. it’s basic racism.” ‘’hawt, you have any niggas to join The Family?’’ Cam asked. “DO NOT CALL THEM NIGGAS. WE ARE NOT $QUADFAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” ‘’Bitch, I was talking about your friends, whore. Don’t yell at me ;(‘’ Cam said. “We’ll get your slut and kitchenfag to join. All my friends are ded ;’(‘’ ‘’O shit manigga I’m sorry, when we recruit dose bitches, wot we gonna do?’’ ‘’We’re going to be the only peeps in prison that can supply these beotches with dildos. We’ll take over the prison, then escape.’’ Katie answered. ‘’Where u gonna get dildos?’’ ‘’I have a bitch who can supply.’’ “Who’s dat?” “My girlfriend. Feeling jealous dyke?” ‘’Nah, me and Purry have a thang. Also, why are we goin’ afta da $QUADfags? Ur the only one who has beef with them so idk’’ Cam b like. “Because you should hate them, they’re friends with Rhina’s bro” ‘’Do we know dat?’’ “Yeh. I killed the brother. And ripped off one of their people’s tits.” ‘’So dere b a bitch on $QUAD?’’ “Two bitchez, but 1 be a crossdressing hookerslut” ‘’Dayum son, wanna talk to da slut?’’ Cam asks. ‘’Ye’’ ‘’PURRY GET DA FUK OVA HARR’’ Cam screams across the cafeteria. ‘’Shut the fuck up!’’ A guard says while Purry walks over. ‘’wot u want?’’ “Purry dis is Katie. She think I’m a big smart dyke. She wants us to help her kill Rhina’s brother friends. You in?” “Can we kill the other guards families too?” Purry chuckles. “Who are the other guards” Katie asks. ‘’There’s Sam B., the creepiest guard of them all. He goes around the prison correcting any mistakes he finds. One time I dropped my sock on my cell floor, he put it back in the drawer and considered dat an ‘’edit’’.’’ Purry answers. “And then there are the guards who watch you shower. They’re called Soxx, SpookyDog, TotallyNotDomsBrother, Durk and The Woman.” “$QUAD?!?!?!?!?!” ‘’sry bby, we were just fuckin’ with ya, there is one guard though who actually does that.’’ ‘’WHO?’’ Katie asks. ‘’Shellturtleguard.’’ Cam answered. “What the fuck is a Shellturtleguard?” ‘’Some fifty year old obsessed with a child actor named Chandlerr Riggs. Anywhore, he’ll stare into the shower and watch you for his ‘’research.’’ And if he don’t like the way you shower or some shit he’ll say ‘’You’ve been acting strange lately...PM.’’ And no one knows what the fuck he means.’’ “It’s even worse for Lav” purry adds “She has short hair like a little boy and almost no tits. Shell is all over him.” ‘’He makes Lav say ‘’I’m Chandlerr Riggs and I love you, Shellturtleguard.’’ or he’ll beat da livin’ shiiiet outta him.’’ Cam says. “This Shellturtleguard needs to be taught a lesson. Someone bring me a lock, and cam, give me your sock.” “What the fuck” cam says as he gives her the sock. “Have you never seen Orange is the New Black. I’m gonna slock him.” She puts the lock inside the sock and swings it around like a flail. ‘’Of course we’ve seen it, it’s wot dis show is partially based off of.’’ Purry says. ‘’Wotch wur yer swingin’ dat thang.’’ Cam says. “Oi, Shell, over here” Katie shouts. Shell walks over and immediately, Katie can see that there’s something wrong with him. He’s wearing an ‘’I <3 CR’’ T-shirt over his uniform’s shirt and an adult diaper on the outside of his pants. ‘’The fuk u want bitch?’’ Katie slocks Shell and then grabs Purry and sits her on his face. Shell tries to lick her pussy, but tastes period blood and vomits into her vag. “Bitch, didn’t you know that girls synchronize their periods?” Kate smirked. ‘’how do dey du dat?’’ Shell asks through blood and vomit. “it’s called periodbending, it never made it onto Avatar because Nicklodeon are dicks.” ‘’did katara n toph do it off screen?’’ ‘’Okay, how the fuck has the conversation steered towards Period Bending.’’ Cam says to herself. She suddenly screams as blood squirts out of her vag and hits Rhina in the face. He squeals like a girl, a trait that obviously runs in the family. ‘’ARGHHHGH HOW DID IT GET FROM OVER THERE TO MY FACE?’’ Rhina screams while slapping the blood. ‘’y @smell’’ “I’m a (big smart) dyke” said Cam. “Smelling like dead pilchards is a basic requirement of being a lesbian” ‘’Shell runs to Rhina and they go to the wardens office like lil pussay bois. “Oh shieeeet what we gonna do now?” Purry asks. “Go to our bunks” Katie answers. “But the warden will kill us” cam cried like a pusssssyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy “He won’t” Katie giggles “Not if he wants condoms to use to fuck the other guards up the ass without getting shit on his dick” ‘’o’’ Purry says, winking at Katie becuz she b slut. ‘’so...we go 2 r bunk?’’ Cam asks. “Yeah, and btw, do you 2 liek dildos?” “YEESSSSSSS” they both scream. ‘’2 bad lol jk, u can hav sum’’ Katie says. A creepy asshole named Stew walks in, wearing a tie over his guard clothes. He literally uses a Bible to hit all the lesbians in prison, calling this ‘’PRAYIN’ DA GAY AWAY’’. “Oh fack” Purry said “itz da warden” Category:Bloxx Category:Dark Category:Katie Category:The Family Category:Issues